Walking the line...

I walked out the door at Remedy Coffee into a torrential downpour. I'd been writing for about an hour and a half on a paper about routine and advertising. Little did I know I would walk out and encounter a soaked, frightened woman by the name of Amber.

"'Scuse me." She said.

I looked at my phone, holding my umbrella and tried to look as busy as I could. I was running late to my weekly "Entrepreneurs of Downtown" meeting (aka, $2 pint night at Barley's).

"I'm tryin' to aks you a question."

"Ok, what can I do for you" I asked as exasperatedly as I could in the pouring rain.

Amber then proceeded to tell me that she was being followed. That's not that unusual in the Old City. After all, it is close to the Greyhound station and Knox Area Rescue Ministries.

I asked if she wanted me to call an officer.

"No" she pleaded. "Please don't" as big drops of rain rolled off of her coke-bottle glasses.

She then proceeded to tell me about a woman, who I had seen walk into the shop, that was supposed to be helping her out by getting her medication for her epilepsy.

She proceeded to tell me how her husband had been beating her and was now in jail in Nashville, and how her kids hadn't eaten in two days.

As I tried to hold my umbrella over her, I struggled.

"Do I give her money," I thought to myself?

"Well, what can I do to help," I asked.

Amber pleaded for money to get her medication and feed her kids. I thought about the wedding coming up. I thought about all the times that I had heard horror stories about people going and buying drugs. I thought about the "lowlifes" I had given a few cents to before, jut to get them to be quiet and leave me alone.

"I'm sorry, I don't have any cash on me and I don't feel comfortable giving you money."

The tears, mixed with the raindrops, began to roll down her cheeks.

To make a long story short, I helped her out. I gave her a few bucks and some coupons to Chick-fil-A. Admittedly, I felt like a jerk for feeding her the crap about me being too busy and not being able to help out when I very well could.

As she and I parted ways and I popped up my umbrella again, the following verse came to mind:

James 2:15-17 (New International Version)

15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

I know what all of the professionals in public service say. "Don't give them anything! Your just enabling them! We've got services that are aimed at eradicating this!"

I have no end of respect for what those folks do for our community. But what about meeting the immediate need? I have no way of knowing if Amber was telling me the truth. There were parts of her story that didn't jive. So?

There's a fine line to walk between giving handouts and meeting a legitimate need. Do I know if Amber's was legitimate? No. Did I want her off my back? Yes. Am I a hypocrite for my motives? Probably. Let's just say that I didn't do it for the gold star I'll get after Sunday night's sermon (insert sarcasm).

Ultimately, I don't own what I have, if I follow a biblical line of thought. Ultimately, I am to be a steward of what I've been given. For some reason, I walked out the door, in the pouring rain, to meet a friend who never got my text about meeting up. Can I say without a doubt that there was a reason for me doing that? Nope.

However, there have been times in my past, where I've been without resources. There have been times where other Christians have told my family (and me) "Go. I wish you well. Be warm and well-fed" and walked away giving us only a Bible scripture to pay the bills with.

Faith without deed is dead faith, whether KARM is just down the street or not. Bible verses won't put food on Amber's table, nor will they help with her epilepsy (if she really has it).

The only thing that I can do, is do what I felt inclined to do at the time, and trust that if I believe in who God says he is, that what little I gave Amber will help and that she'll be better off because of it.

Cheap Community/Cheap Grace

"Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession.... Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate."
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer (The Cost of Discipleship)

Earlier tonight, I was reading a blog by a fellow, presumably young, who was talking about creating community through his blog. The whole thing focused on "creating community beyond the blog." Presuming that these relationships would still be viable once the fellow and his blog followers met in real life, the post got me thinking about community.

It's not until you've seen someone at their worst and continue to stick with them that you realize how much community costs you. It's not until a couple's marriage falls apart, or a single mom can't pay the electric bill, another person tells you that your past has made you irredeemable that you realize what true community costs you.

If I am content to post a comment on a blog and call it community, then I have cheapened community. If I walk into small group and don't engage with the other people there, then I've cheapened community. If I ignore the panhandlers that sit outside after church on Sunday nights, then I've cheapened community.

Let's take Bonhoeffer's quote and rework it: "Cheap community is the community we bestow on ourselves. Cheap community is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession.... Cheap community is community without discipleship, community without the cross, community without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate."

I can walk into service on Sunday night and call it community all I want because of the fact that there are other people there. I can say that this post "creates community" because someone might interact with it. But in the end, I've sacrificed nothing. Other than my time, there has been little cost to my actions.

I'll sum this all up in the comment that I left on the fellow's blog: "Community that doesn’t leave you exhausted after an encounter is cheap community. It’s something that doesn’t require you to get your hands dirty. It’s a committee meeting that’s merely talked about something instead of having acted. It’s cheap grace.

There’s a reason that Christ spent three years with his disciples and not five minutes. There’s a reason that he overturned tables, called out pharisees, and invested not only time, but his very blood into creating the Church.

If I am content to call my commenting on your blog community, then I’ve short-cut the very thing that Christ set as an example. Because here, on this blog, I don’t have to know you. I don’t have to know your story. I don’t have to know what makes you the person that you are. I don’t have to see the things that you will never share in public. I will never have to work side by side with you, or say that something you said pisses me off but am still committed to investing into your life."

Restorative Relationships

David asked me to post some information here about the restorative justice class that's being offered on Thursday nights. I told him I'd be glad to... mostly because I'm super excited about the class. This past Thursday night was fun; we had a wonderful turnout and lots of great discussion. See I think the thing is this: relationships are messy (Remember the scene in Frosty the Snowman where Professor Hinkle breaks the eggs all over the floor and says: "messy, messy, messy"? My favorite line in a Christmas movie ever!) So anyway, relationships aren't easy and they can get ever more difficult when conflict ensues or when opinions are diverse or when trust begins to erode. So when things begin to unravel (or crack on the floor), how do we handle the conflict? how do we restore the relationships? How do we rebuild trust? I believe there are some principles that can help to answer these questions. I don't think they are easy principles, but neither do I think we're alone in trying to work them out.

We will meet upstairs at Cafe 4 (sometimes in the library and sometimes in the conference room) from 6:30-8:00. Here's a basic overview of the 6 weeks:

October 7 Respect, Honor, Compassion: Seeing the Imago Dei in one another

October 14 Expectations and a Belief in Redeemability: Seeing beyond what IS to what can be

October 21 Needs: Seeing and addressing what’s going on

October 28 Solutions With: Working through conflict…together

November 4 Restitution: Apologies, forgiveness, and making things right

November 11 Community: Moving from me to we

Each week will be self-contained (more or less), focusing on a different principle of restorative justice and how that principle applies to our relationships. So, if you can't make them all, or if you missed last week, come anyway; you won't miss anything you can't catch up on.

I'd love to hear feedback and comments as well. Feel free to email me or post a comment here. Shalom y'all.

This Day.....

Have you ever started a day like every other day and then suddenly had the rug pulled out from under your feet?  Where you’re going along and something happens and the world as you knew it was suddenly wholly changed?  It was no longer the world you knew, but a world that had morphed into something right out of a circus, with shifting floors and distorted mirrors, where you no longer knew which way was up or which way was out, let alone if the foundation of the building was secure?  Sometimes it’s extremely hard to separate the true reality from the virtual reality in which many of us live our daily lives.  In an attempt to stop the spinning and get to the truth of the matter, when “the circus came to my town,” I had to still myself and think about what in my life was real and true and foundational; for only on those things was my footing going to be sure and my step going to be right.  I was only on solid ground when I went to the One on whom I have built my life and with whom I have found the way and the truth.  So I wrote this as my daily creed, something I refer to time and again when I need to Be Still and Know.  And while life continues to spin out of my control at times, it is never out of the control of my Redeemer.  And I no longer fear the circus. 

“This Day” by jill branson

This day I will remember whose I am.

I will remember that I am a beloved child of God,

covered by the blood of Christ, and an heir to the kingdom. 

This day I will remember that any battle I face,

I do not face alone, and in most cases,

I do not even have to fight it. 

I do, however, have to stand firm in the knowledge

that my struggle is not against flesh and blood,

and that victory is assuredly mine as long as I keep my eyes focused

on the One who fights for me. 

This day I will remember that I have accepted the call

to live a crucified life, and in doing so,

I have surrendered my rights:

my right to be angry,

my right to retaliate,

my right to be unkind,

my right to act however I want and say whatever I want.

I will remember that though I may feel like God is far away,

the truth of the matter is that He has never left me. 

I will remember that circumstances that seem hopeless

and beyond redemption are never the case;

That God can and will

bring good out of evil,

love out of hate,

peace out of chaos. 

I will remember that my children belong to God,

are loved by Him even more than by me,

and that His plan for them is greater

than anything I can ask or imagine for them. 

I will remember that God is the one who sits

on the throne of the universe and of my life and He is sovereign;

His will for both is good and perfect.

This day I will remember whose I am.                                              

                               

Justice Team Meeting: September 13, 2010

Attendees: Jeremy, David, Drew, LB, Caroline, Danielle, Marie, Lindsey, Alex, Angela, and Aaron

Mechanicsville Homecoming (August 30, 2010)Report: Good turn out; 65 people had blood pressure checked; performed other checks, served as the first aid booth. Nurses from Clinton Chapel and Friendship participated. Brad Carter was able to make connections with neighborhood folks

Gladiator Games: Aaron is going to get a report from Kate – there was a good turnout

CCDA Report: Six folks went. discussion of impressions, beauty of different races/cultures (“like a piece of Heaven”), great unity, good knowledge to bring back to the church and share. Next year October 12-16th in Indianapolis

CCDA Regional Conference: November 12th & 13th in Chattanooga – plant the seed, see if you know folks who would want to go.

Alex mentioned at CCDA that he learned about praying for the current and past sins of the city. It came up that the Study team might be planning programs with the Knox County Historical Society? for the city and that this might be a great time to learn about the city with actions that we be God pleasing as well as sinful and this might be a good time to talk about prayer for its sins. David was to check with the study team regarding this possibility.

Beardsley Farm Workday (this Saturday, Sept 18th 9am - noon): Nikki to get details out regarding the potluck: drinks, plates, etc?

Amachi Mentor Breakfast: Bob and Marie’s place, talking about the end of the first year of Amachi, feedback for Gloria, what activities were done with mentees, and see who will continue on.

Justice Walk (Sunday October 10): really a bus ride. Meet at career center and go on a tour of the neighborhood. Emerald Youth Foundation will lead and talk to us about the area and programs. The goal is to recruit folks to go on this. After the ride, it is Youth Sunday at Clinton Chapel for folks who are interested in staying and connecting. Brad Carter said that we could meet before or after the ride so that All Souls folks could see that a member is living there but it was decided to schedule this for another day.

Monthly Book Report from Justice Team members: Talk about what we have read,
learned, etc. Jeremy is going to email around a sign up sheet. Suggestion: Justice Team could host a café with the study team/prayer team and introduce folks to what books are in the library. Danielle will follow up on this. Also, a list could be distributed to small group leaders
Small Group Grant Request: From the prayer team to commission a work of art for the chapel. Sent proposal back to prayer team to resubmit with more of a justice issue focus. Alex will touch base with them.

Justice Movie Night: Nikki will be talking to Sarah Cox

Lent Class: Hot topic @ CCDA was immigration. Email or let Jeremy know if you have a topic in mind for the lent class.

Communication with Katie in regards to expanding the ASK website to include history of the Justice Team, small group grant ideas, Amachi information, events and pictures. Nikki/Drew for BFarm Lindsey will type up something about CCDA for the website.

Quarterly newsletter with scheduled events: Aaron agreed to handle web updates (coordinate with Katie)

Offertory presentation for October 3: Aaron can pull a video together for offertory, Jeremy will ask Travetta if available

Meeting adjourned. Minutes by LB

Leading Worship: A Band Member's Perspective

I have been playing music for about 25 years. During this time I have acquired a music performance degree and played in countless ensembles. I have experienced the highs and lows of preparing and playing for the public. My experience tells me that music that leads congregational worship is prone to these same highs and lows.

My experience also supports the fact that most everyone has an opinion as to what constitutes good music. I have seen many well meaning Godly worship leaders fall victim to churches subjective opinions about worship music. The musicians I known at All Souls Church are well meaning individuals. They intend to honor God and faithfully lead the congregation.

Being musically trained, a worship leader, and an active participant in the All Souls worship, I frequently hear mistakes, persons singing slightly off key, and subtle band miscommunications. Furthermore, my preferences in music differ stylistically than what is often played at All Souls. I would be lying if I said I never struggled with these issues. I do struggle with them. Furthermore, I am often envious of those who are playing and leading worship. I am a musician and I want to do it. Ultimately, I know the worship music should not present a problem so I pray and work through it. A cherished friend once told me that I should be able to engage in worship even if a ten year old were leading. Good word, Joe!

The worship team experienced difficulties the other Sunday. I played bass that night and it was frustrating and ludicrous. It is not pleasant as a musician to have strings break, equipment malfunction, or monitors accidentally muted. It's a drag when this happens. Listening to a guitar cut in and out of a song is extremely distracting. I have learned over the years that musical bumps in the road happen. Steer as you might, sooner or later a pothole comes down the road and you burst a tire. Just like sin, you confess and move on.

{{My musical career is full of embarrassing tales. I've had stage fright and I could not remember a song. Once, my original tune was "cut short" due to "technical difficulties," (I really believe it sounded pretty bad so they turned off the mic and blamed it on "technical difficulties"). My jazz recital was canceled one semester because my playing did not meet the criteria. I spent an extra semester in school to get it right. I felt like the Rudolph of jazz guitarists, no one ever asked me to sit in on a gig. My parents told me once that I sang out of key. This was after a flat bed trailer stage show in Kingston, TN. I was trying to sing me some Van Halen in David Lee Roth's key. My falsetto doesn't even come close to that dude's pipes. What I am saying is being a musician is not for the faint of heart. Despite all of these set backs I must play music. I must create no matter the cost.}}

Interestingly, one of the most difficult crowd to please is Christians. Congregations have told me that I could do whatever I wanted, then turned around and tell me that I actually could not do whatever I wanted. Fellow worship leaders have told me (not at All Souls) that elders have come to them right before a service and exclaimed "The Lord told me" that your song list needs rearranged. Huh! As a musician who feels that their primary gift to the church is leading worship, let me tell you that I have one intent: To be a gateway for God's Spirit. I wrestle with it all week long.

Little more disparages me more than negative comments about the worship set. After a week of praying, reflecting on the texts, worrying about arrangements, making the PowerPoint, rehearsing, arriving early to set up, changing strings, and getting subs for the the worship team the last thing I want to do is to forget a tune, get musically lost, or have technical difficulties. After a night where that kind of mayhem goes on, what I need from a brother or sister is some grace and support. A pat on the back that says, "Hey, it's all right. No worries. God's grace is sufficient. You'll get it next time. You want to talk about it? Man, that must be frustrating with all that stuff going wrong. Wanna grab some grub..."

God in the Works

Lord, teach me to be generous.
Teach me to serve you as you desire;
to give and not to count the cost;
to fight and not to heed the wounds;
to toil and not to seek for rest;
to labor and not to ask for reward,
except to know
that I am doing your will

My Catholic sister Karen introduced our small group to a small devotional book that was based on The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. Ignatius lived primarily during the first half of the 1500s and in his early life became a solder, had his right leg shattered, and during the months and months of healing became a strong follower of Christ, eventually founding the Jesuits. He is one of the many Christians of the past who left for us a legacy and example in their struggle to follow the son of God. The prayer above is attributed to him.

I have found his prayer as more than words and rather a yearning of the heart. Having felt that I have just mechanically served our Lord in the past, I now focus on serving with a new heart and vision. The excitement of youth reminds me of this call and invigorates my service. One example involves my daughter who is now serving Jesus in the bodies of orphaned HIV+ children in Tanzania. It only took her a week to come to start loving everyone and everything there. Her excitement is similar to that of many of the All Souls brothers and sisters I am coming more and more to know. In a recent gathering with some who have a special heart for justice issues, I asked a question that congregants of All Souls will be asked in the near future - How are you seeking the peace of the city? The answers rang loud with concerns and love so deep that I was especially proud to be in the body of believers. Some of the things people were doing included supporting local businesses (e.g. local food, etc.), trying to understand racial dynamics, helping a Mechanicsville resident with some necessary home repair, developing relationships with Amachi mentees, becoming an integral part of the community where they lived, praying, developing and struggling with intentional relationships with Christian and non-Christian co-workers, and making life style changes to speak justice to others. The list goes on. We pray "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done...." The work of the kingdom continues.

Jesus said there were two great commandments - Love God with your entire being and love your neighbor. Our neighbors would have to include our families, our co-workers and/or boss, our clients, our All Souls family, our geographical next door neighbors, those who have no homes, and neighbors whose lives we affect by our choices and behaviors. We soon realize that there is no one who is not our neighbor. We pray as we seek the peace of the city that we will love God with our all, that we will love each other in our community, and that we will love the city, its people and God's creation and all that is in it. The world will know we are Christians by our love.

Father you created me
and put me on earth for a purpose.
Jesus, you died for me
and called me to complete your work.
Holy Spirit, you help me
to carry out the work
for which I was created and called.
In your presence and name -
Father, Son and Holy Spirit
Teach us to love you and our neighbor
as you loved us. Amen